Tag Archives: May 21

Don’t Panic! 13 Things You Must Do Before the Rapture

by Angela

Since I’m sure all of you amazing Queerious readers will be leaving us tomorrow night  because of Harold Camping’s prediction of the second coming of Jesus H. Christ at 6p.m. (no time zone, I mean duh, that was invented WAY after JC left us the first time) I thought I would come up with 13 must-do things for your last day on Earth (because I know you’re all going to be on the VIP list for the chosen). If you happen to be one of the unlucky unchosen, according to Camping you will be stuck here for the zombie apocalypse until October 21st (<– P.S. that is a link to the Center for Disease Control website with info on what to do if you find yourself in the midst of a Z.A.).

If you’re fairly certain you’re heading off to the that server in the sky you’ve got 24 hours left on Earth. And that’s a lot to plan for. Lucky for you, I’ve already made your final to-do list, and it leaves plenty of time for spontaneity. My list excludes awesome things that would require travel, because who wants to waste their last hours in line at the airport? This is a link-heavy post, so be sure to open plenty-o-tabs on your browser. If you don’t know how to do that then I’m sure you’ve got waitin’-for-Jesus-plans already so don’t worry your pretty little head.

13. Part your hair on the other side.  According to an episode of Radiolab, how we view ourselves in the mirror vs. how people in the world see us is completely different. A study showed no one would have trusted Abraham Lincoln if he had parted his hair on the other side. See if this little makeover will disguise you well enough to get into/out of the Rapture.

12. Listen to this. While you’re taming your tresses (or skimming this post), take a listen to the 24-hours-to-live playlist I made on Youtube. It’ll make you giggle, reflect, and of course,  seek salvation. Continue reading