According to the New York Times, a naked man by the name of Christian Falero, 23, went berserk in his Upper Manhattan apartment building. Running around stark naked with a 10-inch knife in the hallway, he knocked on random doors of his neighbors and stabbed them as they answered the door. He stabbed four people including an old woman in the eye and an 81-year-old man whom he stabbed to death. Falero then ran out into the street and started slashing himself on the ground until the police arrested him.
Well, this is definitely a very queerious crime which made the 80s Hong Kong cult movie Naked Killer pale in comparison.
Mr. Falero hit the American jackpot with our obsession of nudity and violence that has previously elevated a trashy Hong Kong B-movie into an American cult classic.
Since I’m sure all of you amazing Queerious readers will be leaving us tomorrow night because of Harold Camping’s prediction of the second coming of Jesus H. Christ at 6p.m. (no time zone, I mean duh, that was invented WAY after JC left us the first time) I thought I would come up with 13 must-do things for your last day on Earth (because I know you’re all going to be on the VIP list for the chosen). If you happen to be one of the unlucky unchosen, according to Camping you will be stuck here for the zombie apocalypse until October 21st (<– P.S. that is a link to the Center for Disease Control website with info on what to do if you find yourself in the midst of a Z.A.).
If you’re fairly certain you’re heading off to the that server in the sky you’ve got 24 hours left on Earth. And that’s a lot to plan for. Lucky for you, I’ve already made your final to-do list, and it leaves plenty of time for spontaneity. My list excludes awesome things that would require travel, because who wants to waste their last hours in line at the airport? This is a link-heavy post, so be sure to open plenty-o-tabs on your browser. If you don’t know how to do that then I’m sure you’ve got waitin’-for-Jesus-plans already so don’t worry your pretty little head.
13. Part your hair on the other side. According to an episode of Radiolab, how we view ourselves in the mirror vs. how people in the world see us is completely different. A study showed no one would have trusted Abraham Lincoln if he had parted his hair on the other side. See if this little makeover will disguise you well enough to get into/out of the Rapture.
12. Listen to this. While you’re taming your tresses (or skimming this post), take a listen to the 24-hours-to-live playlist I made on Youtube. It’ll make you giggle, reflect, and of course, seek salvation. Continue reading
Dear lame lesbian bars,
You know who you are. You call yourself something platonic like “Sisters” or “Buddies” or *shudders* “Best Friends”. You play soft acoustic female rock and that one Katy Perry song- exclusively! Or worse, you have live musicians covering Melissa Etheridge and aforementioned awful pop song. You never have a f#$king orange slice for my whisky because you don’t serve any import beer. Your bartenders are old enough to be my grandmother and not in the Sophia-Loren-is-old-enough-to-be-my-grandmother-but-I-would-still-do-her kind of way. You always have a pool table or dart board directly in front of something essential, like the bathroom or the bar. And do you hire young sporty women with popped collars to storm off from large groups in 30 minute intervals? Or does this happen organically because you only serve domestic beer? What about the women who chase after them? Are their polo shirts and baseball caps part of the company uniform? Continue reading
I can not tell you how excited I am that the royal nuptials are taking place today. It’s not because of the amazingly bad
awesome royal wedding souvenirs that are available either (click that link, you won’t be sorry).
No, I am counting down the hours to this wedding so that I can quit frakking hearing about it. If I hear one more person use the word “fairytale” I’m gonna need to order one of those Royal Wedding barf bags. Continue reading
Ending a relationship sucks. No matter how amicable you tell yourself it is. Once all of the friends, pets, and stuff are divided and the U-Haul has pulled away it’s healthy and expected to take some time apart. And getting this much needed space was once easy enough. If you didn’t want to run in to her you could simply avoid your old haunts, don’t call (or answer if they’re calling) and generally live your life without much more than a bump in at the Tegan and Sara concert.
But Facebook has added an extra layer of neurosis to dating. Whether you’re breaking up, getting engaged, separating, getting “complicated”, or entering in to a civil union, it’s all online and subject to commentary from any jack wagon whose friend request you’ve accepted. Of course you can delete the information from the feed but many choose not to. Some people LOVE the sympathy. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that are constantly vaguebooking, They have as many relationship changes as there are dreadlocks at an Ani DiFranco concert. Continue reading
David Kato, the Ugandan gay rights activist, has been murdered. The tragic incident could have resulted from a homophobic newspaper article that put put him in the national spotlight for hate. When he was asked in a CNN interview last year about whether it was possible to be openly gay in Uganda, he said, “No. Public space we don’t have that… the moment that I identify that I’m gay, soon the problem comes.” The “problem” came soon enough indeed. This sad and horrific news again shows that basic human rights are culturally defined… and that there are no basic human rights really. Read more about it on the Guardian.
A friend of mine in an email recently wrote to me:
“Hey Steven, Kat added me on FB awhile back. On her FB wall, someone put “R.I.P. Kat. Is that true?? Just curious”
Finding out news of a friend’s death over Facebook is terrible. Finding out through someone I don’t know that she died from suicide is even more terrible.
Katherine and I became friends during college. We met through the Chinese music ensemble where we played the Pipa (a traditional Chinese lute). Her bubbly personality won me over as I am more reserved and tend to gravitate towards those who are opposite. Continue reading