My friend Quentin invited me to Queerious and explained that the blog could be anything from queer identity to what a lesbian usually eats for breakfast. For my first blog, I thought about my most recent and new experiences in my queer life. It’s been quite a queerious journey since I first opened myself up to the same sex in my early twenties. Since then, I have been happily exploring my limits and tastes in my ever richer sexual identity now well into my early thirties.
I’ve been recently surprised at a change in my usual sexual preferences. Since I started dating women, I’ve always dated white women even though I’ve dated Asian men in my previous straight life. In queer terminology, I would be a potato queen as opposed to a rice queen. I’ve always scoffed at people gay or straight who dated only one race exclusively. I somehow felt it was vaguely racist or less open-minded. But here I was doing the same thing that I despised in others. I didn’t exactly understand why I was only attracted to white women but it was a certain irrefutable fact. Thoughts of hooking up with other Asian women somehow steered my mind toward my mother or sister, a definite turn-off. So in my mind, I wrote off the Asian “sistah” as too much like family and used it many a time as justification whenever friends asked if I was ever attracted to Asian women.
But of course just as you’re sure about something, someone comes along to change your world. I was minding my own business when I fell for another gaysian girl. It really rocked my queer world because I was so sure that this would never happen. But the attraction was undeniable so I just went with the flow to see where it would take me.
The chemistry was there, and I didn’t have libido crushing thoughts of my mother or sister. But there was definitely a difference with dating a fellow gaysian as opposed to dating a white woman. I felt somehow more familiar and comfortable with her in a way I had never felt with my ex-girlfriends and we miraculously somehow had the exact same tastes in food and film, which I somehow chalked up to her Asian-ness. And the sex was actually amazing! I couldn’t believe it.
It was like discovering a whole new world within myself. I started seeing other gaysian women in an entirely different way like when I first started being attracted to women. Whether this is some kind of personal growth or just plain sluttiness I’m not sure. But it reminded me that sexual attraction is and always will be fluid.